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What is the scariest experience you've had as a non-believer being respectful to a friend or family member and attending a religious service with them, possibly in an attempt to convert you?
Mine would have to be a few Easters ago when a girl I was dating pleaded with me to come to service, later knowing that she was hoping the experience would make me a believer. What I saw was people falling over in the aisles and "speaking in tongues", a 45-minute music service involving flagwaving and crazy dancing, followed by an hour and a half sermon of fire, brimstone, and hate, sometimes interrupted by more screaming of jibberish, then someone speaking out to interpret said jibberish. The sermon closed by saying that non-believers don't deserve to be treated as people, let alone as citizens or equal to them, and somehow a church supposedly based on love and open doors didn't exactly fit the bill by saying something like that.
Another part I loved was the Bible lesson of the day, where they quoted the "spare the rod" passage, and then the pastor spent ten minutes basically condoning beating disobedient children with a rod. Fundamentalism, yay!
How about you? Anyone have an experience like that?
April 12 2009, 19:40:29 UTC 3 years ago
When I was about 14, we were in another town for my grandparents' 50th anniversary. They really wanted everyone to come to the service before, so my non-religious family went. My brother (15) and I were fine, albeit bored and slightly weirded out, until they started shaking hands and saying "Peace be with you". That was fine, except for the whole creepy strangers.
And then they started singing a song with "Jesus is dead, Hallelujah", and that's when we begged to go sit in the car for the rest of the service.
April 13 2009, 02:46:17 UTC 3 years ago
It's always interesting to have things pointed out to you that you grew up with and just go "...huh." =)
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April 12 2009, 19:55:48 UTC 3 years ago
I pocketed the money, laughed at the Christians singing some of the very not religious Beatles tunes and went home. I can't honestly believe how they think that would have converted me. I told her I'd attend every week if she gave me $100 for it though.
April 12 2009, 19:57:15 UTC 3 years ago
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April 12 2009, 20:39:36 UTC 3 years ago
Your story is far more interesting though, what happened after the service? What did you say to your girlfriend? What did she say? What happened!!
April 12 2009, 22:52:36 UTC 3 years ago
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April 12 2009, 20:56:46 UTC 3 years ago
Especially when they all went to the altar to pray and then just sat there crying their eyes out together. Yikes. Never again!!
April 12 2009, 22:53:23 UTC 3 years ago
April 12 2009, 21:03:26 UTC 3 years ago
ok i know most here are anit religious. or anti ignorant. with that spirit in mind- speaking in tongues isnt supposed to be that way. its one talker who rises above all the language barriers so everyone can understand them. what most fundamentalists do is more like demon possession. but whatever.
i went to the bathroom. and stayed there for 45 minutes. some jackass came in and kicked about a dozen of us out. i was the only one not possessed and not converted. 1 year later the preachers boys life self destructed with drugs and alcohol. he was shipped out of state back to the south where his grandparents watched over him.
April 12 2009, 23:43:55 UTC 3 years ago
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April 12 2009, 21:35:02 UTC 3 years ago
I went to easter vigil with my mom last night. She had to be there an hour early for choir practice. I was told the mass would be two hours so that means I would just be sitting there for three hours. I thought I could handle it since the classes I've had are usually three hours long. but nope - mass ran an extra hour long. So I was there for four hours. I listened to my ipod for the hour before mass started, but the following three hours was spent daydreaming.
However I was informed by the priest that a life without Christ would mean ~total darkness~. I was probably the only person in the congregation smirking during that sermon.
April 12 2009, 22:56:32 UTC 3 years ago
April 12 2009, 21:43:11 UTC 3 years ago
my dad got married at his baptist church and specifically requested the preacher to talk about accepting christ as lord and being saved. at his wedding.
my sister in law got married recently and it was in memphis, tennessee. and the church was gigantic with stadium seating and large cameras. the preacher started the wedding talking about about political issues like homosexual marriage being against god because god made adam out of dirt and eve out of adam's rib. and then he talked about marriage as a contract between a man and a woman and god, and that was very creepy and scary.
:shivers:
<3
April 12 2009, 22:57:28 UTC 3 years ago
April 12 2009, 22:41:19 UTC 3 years ago
For the most part, I remember it being fairly boring but basically normal. But later after we had been taken to the children's play area for half an hour or so, my friend asked me "Do you want to come and let jesus into your heart?" I didn't know what she meant but I still followed her.
That's when I saw the pastor/priest/minister/whatever he was talking to a woman while holding her by the shoulders. He then let go and she feel completely stiff and just lay on her back on the floor for a while. Many other people did this also. This was apparently the process of letting jesus into your heart and even though I was young I thought it was utterly stupid, a bit frightening and absolutely refused to do it.
In hindsight I'm wondering if there were any drugs involved or something because the people would just lie there for ages and eventually get up looking pretty groggy and confused.
April 12 2009, 22:58:35 UTC 3 years ago
April 13 2009, 00:19:49 UTC 3 years ago
Hands down, funerals at conservative rural Christian churches here in the Bible Belt take the cake. They seldom fail to creep me out.
I was generally spared the more alarming aspects of the funerals at which I performed as a member of the military honor guard in Georgia and South Carolina, but funerals for friends and family have often proved uncomfortable.
But one in particular sticks out as it was sort of a twofer. It was for a friend who was--and
Riiiight.
I wonder if Jesus was the one who bought him that eightball that sped his checkout from this mortal coil?
April 13 2009, 00:37:41 UTC 3 years ago
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April 13 2009, 01:24:30 UTC 3 years ago
I, personally, was unconvinced.
April 13 2009, 01:27:49 UTC 3 years ago
I don't blame you for being unconvinced. To paraphrase George Carlin, "for starters, I can SEE Bill Murray, okay? Seeing something, you know, kinda helps the whole credibility thing along."
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April 13 2009, 01:29:37 UTC 3 years ago
And I went! I went to the cult because they said they had free food, and that's MY religion. ;)
So they sat me down with the crazy cult lady, and she asked me "What's something you want to make manifest in your life?"
ME: "I'd like a new car."
HER: "What do you REALLY want?"
ME: "A new NEW car?"
HER: "What do you REALLY want?"
ME: "A Toyota Forerunner SR5 Limited with leather interior that runs on dreams and starlight!"
She got mad at me because I didn't have the cash for the brainwash weekend.
HER: "OK, let's think of all the ways you can get 455 dollars tonight. Do you have a charge card?"
ME: "Nope."
HER: "Do you have anything you could sell?"
ME: "I bet my soul might be worth something!"
HER: "Is there anyone you could borrow it from?"
ME: "Oh man, if you could spot me..."
HER: "What are you afraid of?"
ME: "Bears."
HER: "What are you afraid of?"
ME: "The North American grizzly"
HER: "What are you afraid of?"
ME: "I'm most afraid of being sucked into a crazy, creepy cult."
She told me I was afraid of success, which was why I didn't want to join her cult. Which might in fact be true. I have a feeling that fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sittin-around time.
April 13 2009, 01:33:10 UTC 3 years ago
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April 13 2009, 02:01:58 UTC 3 years ago
I was suckered into going to a lock-in by a friend in high school. He belonged to a pretty crazy Baptist church and even though it wasn't my denomination (I was Methodist at the time) I went on the promise of free food and games. We were fed first and then we played some fun games, but later in the night we were broken into groups and made to go to different lessons. The only one I can remember was my group going to a session in which an overly excited and creepy young guy tried to show us how much Jesus suffered for us during his crucifixion. This guy made one kid stand up in a chair on his toes to simulate how tired Jesus was on the cross. Then he handed out 6 inch nails to everyone and made us place the nails on our wrists and hold them in place using moderate pressure (he was explicit about this) for the duration of his spiel. Of course we all had nearly bleeding indentations on our wrists by the end. I couldn't believe how completely fucked up the whole thing was. Looking back, not only do I think that was completely irresponsible and constituted child abuse, but I think that was one of the first big pushes that lead me away from religion.
After that I stopped hanging out with the guy who belonged to that church.
April 13 2009, 02:03:28 UTC 3 years ago
April 13 2009, 02:35:42 UTC 3 years ago
1. At a presbyterian service, discussing the part of the bible that gives you the right to judge people.
2. In youth group, talking about why you shouldn't marry a nonbeliever because then you'd have to spend eternity alone (while said nonbeliever rots in hell, of course)
3. The funeral of a good friend turned into a "pick up a bible on your way out" conversion fest.
4. At mass in my dorm, the homily discussed how you should thank Jesus for every good thing that happens to you. It rubbed me the wrong way because it completely ignored the kindness and charity of the people doing good deeds.
5. At PMS (Presbyterian Misses Sleepover, hah) when I was in high school, the friend I was with alerted everyone to my atheism and they circled around me for hours discussing the emptiness I must feel in my heart and the fact that I can feel the wind without seeing it.
April 13 2009, 07:37:58 UTC 3 years ago
2. Naturally... What's love got to do with it?
3. Sure... Nothing like using the death of a loved one to push your business.
4. Touche'.
5. Right... If you don't believe exactly what they do, you must be empty. And you may not see wind, but there is evidence of its existence. That helps.
April 13 2009, 02:54:28 UTC 3 years ago
Nonsense is not a tongue so much as a lack of one.
April 13 2009, 04:45:32 UTC 3 years ago
If there were some sounds not present in the native language, like the German "ch" and French "r" to an English speaker or whatever, it would help their credibility a little.
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